Finding True Love (2.0 Version)
By shaydawkins | Relationships , Self Improvement
Five years ago, I published this article, 3 Days for Find True Love Any Time of the Year, regarding my first book, and this article was where I felt my writing began to “transition” and go up a notch to what eventually would become iSin, my recently published book. (Shhhhh… don’t tell anyone, but iSin is only .99 for just this week on my website via using the promo code “Launch” (there is a link at the very bottom of the page)– and this is my first and last shameless plug). Over the past five years, I have grown SOOOOOO MUCH personally (from my many “mistakes” and successes) and as a writer so now I will revisit that article, expand on it, get a little deep, and most importantly HAVE SOME FUN– SO MUCH FUN– that this post ENRICHES anyone who takes the time to read it; oh, and if you didn’t know my writing style is unique, fun, and candid; so, get ready for an experience!
Hop on board and strap yourself in because we are about to take a little RIDE!
*All Songs Suggested for this article can be found on my Spotify Playlist entitled “Finding True Love” (Search: “Shay.Dawkins” on Spotify)
Song: “I’m a Believer” -The Monkees
I BELIEVE
I’m a BELIEVER in the POWER of an intelligent, informed MIND via science, logic, and reason YET I am also a BELIEVER in the POWER of emotional intelligence via spirituality, practicing good (solution-focused) thoughts, and learning to generate good, love-based EMOTIONS. I am a BELIEVER in protecting our environment, the freedom for ALL to LOVE and MARRY who they so choose YET I am also a BELIEVER in making a dollar via FREE MARKETS, providing people with opportunity (jobs) to support themselves, and although I BELIEVE in the freedom for ALL to LOVE, BE WITH, and MARRY who they so choose, I DO NOT BELIEVE in “promoting” my or anyone’s sexual orientation as the “RIGHT WAY” and “shoving an agenda down other peoples’ throats” on an “end all-be all” basis.
I’m a BELIEVER in being aware of “external” circumstances, problems, and political candidates whose decisions I may or may not agree with YET I BELIEVE that your and my INTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES are much more IMPORTANT, PERTINENT, and POWERFUL than any external circumstances. I BELIEVE in discussing issues (problems) with the GOAL to understand and SOLVE those problems. I BELIEVE in DISAGREEING and DISAGREEING so PASSIONATELY that I FIND GOOD, LOGICAL REASONS to BACK UP the BELIEFS I AM PASSIONATE about. I BELIEVE that it is OK to naturally “not like” some individuals you will come across YET I ALSO BELIEVE that LOVE (TRUE LOVE found from within) is MORE IMPORTANT and that ARGUMENTS in and of themselves are WRONG and BAD (SINFUL). I BELIEVE that EVERY PERSON should LOVE THEMSELVES FIRST and BE SELFISH enough to find their love, peace, and joy from WITHIN THEMSELVES YET I BELIEVE and KNOW from first-hand experience that TO LOVE YOURSELF you must LOVE and CARE for others as a LIFE BUILT for LONG-TERM SUCCESS both INTERNALLY (happiness, peace, love, and joy) and EXTERNALLY (financially, social status, and nice materialistic things) can only be attained with a STRONG TEAM that YOU BUILD around you through the HARD WORK of CHOOSING LOVE– TOUGH LOVE, REAL LOVE, COMPASSIONATE LOVE, CARING LOVE– on that darkest day when your relationship WILL BE put to the ultimate test!
AYYYYYYY! BELIEVE in YOURSELF; BELIEVE that LOVE WINS; I BELIEVE!
FEEL (FILL) the REAL
What is really real? A dog can smell things that we (as humans) can’t; just because we can’t smell what a dog smells, then does that mean those smells don’t exist? You can’t see anger, but you sure as hell can FEEL IT! You can’t see love, but (oh man) you can FEEL IT! You can’t see disappointment, but you can definitely can FEEL IT! You can’t see happiness, but you can FEEL IT! So, if we can’t see anger, love, disappointment, and happiness in a “physical form,” then does that mean these EMOTIONS do not exist?
What if I told you there was a logical way to manipulate your EMOTIONS? What if I told you that REALEST things in this life experience are not the things you can physically SEE, but are the EMOTIONS you and I can only FEEL? What if there was a point where spirituality and logic meshed together as ONE? What if you REALLY are CREATING YOUR LIFE via what you are predominately FEELING– FILLING YOURSELF WITH?! What if I told you there was a SOLE SOURCE you could TAP INTO any time, any place, and anywhere that would enable you to FIND YOUR ANSWERS, FULFILL YOU, EMPOWER YOU, and ENERGIZE YOU to the point where you may find it hard to sleep because you are FILLED with so much PASSION, MEANING, PURPOSE, and EXCITEMENT for YOUR LIFE?!
Well, the GOOD NEWS is that THERE IS an EASY, SIMPLE SOLUTION that will enable you to manipulate your emotions and create your life however you see fit; this ONE SOLE SOURCE will provide you INTERNALLY with the following: TRUE LOVE, answers, fulfillment, empowerment, energy, passion, meaning, purpose, and excitement. The “BAD” NEWS is that IT’S EXTREMELY HARD WORK! Now, before I go any further, I do not want to sugar coat what I am about to discuss because I believe in mentioning the UGLY aspects upfront of choosing to tap into this source of TRUE LOVE.
Song: “Energy” -Drake
The Ugly Truth
Symptoms you may experience, if you make the choice to FIND TRUE LOVE:
- “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” -Unknown
This source of true love will enable you to see the truth, and the truth is hard to handle at first because the truth is blunt and apparent; hence, some family and “friends” you previously thought “had your back” may betray you and may not like the “new you.” Misery loves company, BUT HAPPY PEOPLE LIKE HAPPY PEOPLE. If this occurs to you, then YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE TO PERCEIVE some people being “cut out of your life” as “bad” because “things are falling a part” OR you can perceive it as “good” because “the small cancers are being removed from your life” and “better things are falling together.” - “GREAT progress is almost always met with GREAT resistance.” -Shay Dawkins You very likely will begin to QUESTION ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. It is much easier to stay asleep and “keep going through the motions,” than it is to WAKE UP and begin to see things and people for who they truly are (internally). I discuss how to develop an “Internal Raydar” throughout iSin which is much like “feeling the force” (for any Star Wars fans), and as you develop this “Internal Raydar” you will become “vibe sensitive” or “consciously sensitive to the energy around you” which will give you the ability to feel the “negative energy (darkness)” residing within people and in certain places (situations) which sounds cool (it is cool), because you will be able to avoid bad situations. However, (at first) you may be “misunderstood” by those who don’t know the “new you” yet. This can potentially cause you to FEEL ALONE and experience loneliness. If (and more than likely when) this happens to you, then YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE TO PERCEIVE it as “bad,” because (no matter what anyone says) no one likes to FEEL ALONE OR you can perceive it as “good” because you are simply experiencing “growing pains” in that you are growing, learning, and progressing which is a GOOD THING! Let me emphasize that there is a BIG difference between being alone (having “You Time”) and FEELING ALONE. By the way, I still battle this “lonely aspect” to some degree, but the occurrences I deal with have dwindled down to extremely rare, “close to extinct” occurrences. Lastly, no that you are NOT ALONE– your LOVE, PEACE, and JOY are always within you and you WILL NEVER LOSE (INTERNALLY) as long as you REALIZE YOUR GREAT POTENTAL, KEEP MOVING FORWARD, and DON’T GIVE UP! Furthermore, this iSin Blog and I, personally, am here. Most of the time when a person “FEELS ALONE” the quickest solution is to simply talk to someone and “vent your emotions” to get what is bothering you OUT OF YOU! You can feel free to message me, comment on the blog, and reach out to me– I do have somewhat of a life away from iSin (haha)) and can’t guarantee how quickly I will respond, but I will. Over time, there will be a community of people here on the iSin Blog (Community) that you can “lean on” and simply talk to, if and when you need it.
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“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” -Jesus
If and when you experience point #1 and are “feeling betrayed” or “being done wrong,” then YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE to find the strength to let those people LEAVE while FORGIVING THEM, simultaneously; MOST IMPORTANTLY, you do not forgive them for them as you forgive them FOR YOU! A lot of people who realize the truth are emotionally intelligent and intelligent overall, but knowing the truth and “realizing wrong” can easily lead to LIVING IN ANGER (WRATH). Trust me, it’s taken me a LONG TIME to get to where I am today in that 95% of the time I now am able to USE “FEELING ANGRY” as a “positive tool” for myself via “focusing the high energy of anger” into simply “focused energy,” but it has been a long, winding road to get to this point. If and when you feel yourself getting angry too often, then there are some simple tools that are EASY to practice, but it is hard to create the habit of remembering to do them when anger has the best of you. One tool is to create the thought (mind frame) of “picking your battles (Is the situation really that important?),” and another tool is to simply find something or someone to appreciate and be thankful for.
Song: “Hero” -Mariah Carey
The Source: F.L.Y.
The EASY, SIMPLE SOLUTION that will enable you to manipulate your emotions, create your life however you see fit, and provide you INTERNALLY with TRUE LOVE, answers, fulfillment, empowerment, energy, passion, meaning, purpose, and excitement is to
F.L.Y.
First Love Yourself
What does this really mean though?
In a nutshell, this means to realize the POWER OF YOUR THOUGHTS because YOUR THOUGHTS GENERATE YOUR EMOTIONS and YOUR EMOTIONS cause you to FEEL which causes you to be “FILLED WITH” whatever YOU ARE FEELING. If you go back to the previous section, then look where I bolded “YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE” when pertaining to how you can respond to a negative, external circumstance. YOU always HAVE A CHOICE to CHANGE YOUR MIND when it comes to PERCEIVING EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES. You can CHOOSE to “be a victim of EXTERNAL circumstances and let your circumstances define you” OR you can CHOOSE to be a “CREATOR of YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES and define your circumstances.”
10 Good Thinking Habits
(Excerpt from the iSin Chapter, “Love Your Mind”)
“To be made new in the attitude and thoughts of your mind.” –Ephesians 4:23
1) Constantly listen to music that makes you FEEL GOOD. Let me reiterate that your DAY will be a LOT MORE FUN with MUSIC, especially good MUSIC that you ENJOY!
2) Constantly find things to appreciate and say “thank you” to.
3) Constantly find things that MAKE YOU LAUGH.
4) Watch inspirational videos that get you “HYPED” and build your energy.
5) Surround yourself with people who “build you up (build your energy)” and enable you to DWELL on GOOD.
6) Find multiple “carrot sticks” (as mentioned in a previous chapter) or “fellowship events” that break up the monotony of your week and give you something to look forward to every week.
7) Actively think to yourself, “How can I ENJOY this PHENOMENAL day with BOUNDLESS OPPORTUNITY to the ABSOLUTE FULLEST?!?!?”
8) Find someone to give an honest compliment too. Making others feel good will essentially make you feel good (most of the time).
9) If angry, find a productive way to vent such as working out, writing, etc.; transform the high energy of anger into productive energy for you that serves you.
10) Constantly find and dwell on small “wins” you have accomplished
