Feb 14

Finding True Love (2.0 Version)

By shaydawkins | Relationships , Self Improvement

Five years ago, I published this article, 3 Days for Find True Love Any Time of the Year, regarding my first book, and this article was where I felt my writing began to “transition” and go up a notch to what eventually would become iSin, my recently published book. (Shhhhh… don’t tell anyone, but iSin is only .99 for just this week on my website via using the promo code “Launch” (there is a link at the very bottom of the page)– and this is my first and last shameless plug).  Over the past five years, I have grown SOOOOOO MUCH personally (from my many “mistakes” and successes) and as a writer so now I will revisit that article, expand on it, get a little deep,  and most importantly HAVE SOME FUN– SO MUCH FUN– that this post ENRICHES anyone who takes the time to read it; oh, and if you didn’t know my writing style is unique, fun, and candid; so, get ready for an experience!

Hop on board and strap yourself in because we are about to take a little RIDE! 


*All Songs Suggested for this article can be found on my Spotify Playlist entitled “Finding True Love” (Search: “Shay.Dawkins” on Spotify)

Song: “I’m a Believer” -The Monkees


I’m a BELIEVER in the POWER of an intelligent, informed MIND via science, logic, and reason YET I am also a BELIEVER in the POWER of emotional intelligence via spirituality, practicing good (solution-focused) thoughts, and learning to generate good, love-based EMOTIONS.  I am a BELIEVER in protecting our environment, the freedom for ALL to LOVE and MARRY who they so choose YET I am also a BELIEVER in making a dollar via FREE MARKETS, providing people with opportunity (jobs) to support themselves, and although I BELIEVE in the freedom for ALL to LOVE, BE WITH, and MARRY who they so choose, I DO NOT BELIEVE in “promoting” my or anyone’s sexual orientation as the “RIGHT WAY” and “shoving an agenda down other peoples’ throats” on an “end all-be all” basis.

I’m a BELIEVER in being aware of “external” circumstances, problems, and political candidates whose decisions I may or may not agree with YET I BELIEVE that your and my INTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES are much more IMPORTANT, PERTINENT, and POWERFUL than any external circumstances.  I BELIEVE in discussing issues (problems) with the GOAL to understand and SOLVE those problems.  I BELIEVE in DISAGREEING and DISAGREEING so PASSIONATELY that I FIND GOOD, LOGICAL REASONS to BACK UP the BELIEFS I AM PASSIONATE about.  I BELIEVE that it is OK to naturally “not like” some individuals you will come across YET I ALSO BELIEVE that LOVE (TRUE LOVE found from within) is MORE IMPORTANT and that ARGUMENTS in and of themselves are WRONG and BAD (SINFUL).  I BELIEVE that EVERY PERSON should LOVE THEMSELVES FIRST and BE SELFISH enough to find their love, peace, and joy from WITHIN THEMSELVES YET I BELIEVE and KNOW from first-hand experience that TO LOVE YOURSELF you must LOVE and CARE for others as a LIFE BUILT for LONG-TERM SUCCESS both INTERNALLY (happiness, peace, love, and joy) and EXTERNALLY (financially, social status, and nice materialistic things) can only be attained with a STRONG TEAM that YOU BUILD around you through the HARD WORK of CHOOSING LOVE– TOUGH LOVE, REAL LOVE, COMPASSIONATE LOVE, CARING LOVE– on that darkest day when your relationship WILL BE put to the ultimate test!




What is really real?  A dog can smell things that we (as humans) can’t; just because we can’t smell what a dog smells, then does that mean those smells don’t exist?  You can’t see anger, but you sure as hell can FEEL IT!  You can’t see love, but (oh man) you can FEEL IT!  You can’t see disappointment, but you can definitely can FEEL IT!  You can’t see happiness, but you can FEEL IT!  So, if we can’t see anger, love, disappointment, and happiness in a “physical form,” then does that mean these EMOTIONS do not exist?

What if I told you there was a logical way to manipulate your EMOTIONS?  What if I told you that REALEST things in this life experience are not the things you can physically SEE, but are the EMOTIONS you and I can only FEEL?  What if there was a point where spirituality and logic meshed together as ONE?  What if you REALLY are CREATING YOUR LIFE via what you are predominately FEELING– FILLING YOURSELF WITH?!  What if I told you there was a SOLE SOURCE you could TAP INTO any time, any place, and anywhere that would enable you to FIND YOUR ANSWERS, FULFILL YOU, EMPOWER YOU, and ENERGIZE YOU to the point where you may find it hard to sleep because you are FILLED with so much PASSION, MEANING, PURPOSE, and EXCITEMENT for YOUR LIFE?!

Well, the GOOD NEWS is that THERE IS an EASY, SIMPLE SOLUTION that will enable you to manipulate your emotions and create your life however you see fit; this ONE SOLE SOURCE will provide you INTERNALLY with the following: TRUE LOVE, answers, fulfillment, empowerment, energy, passion, meaning, purpose, and excitement. The “BAD” NEWS is that IT’S EXTREMELY HARD WORK!  Now, before I go any further, I do not want to sugar coat what I am about to discuss because I believe in mentioning the UGLY aspects upfront of choosing to tap into this source of TRUE LOVE.


Song: “Energy” -Drake

The Ugly Truth

Symptoms you may experience, if you make the choice to FIND TRUE LOVE:

  1. “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” -Unknown
    This source of true love will enable you to see the truth, and the truth is hard to handle at first because the truth is blunt and apparent; hence, some family and “friends” you previously thought “had your back” may betray you and may not like the “new you.”  Misery loves company, BUT HAPPY PEOPLE LIKE HAPPY PEOPLE.  If this occurs to you, then YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE TO PERCEIVE some people being “cut out of your life” as “bad”  because “things are falling a part” OR you can perceive it as “good” because “the small cancers are being removed from your life” and “better things are falling together.”
  2. “GREAT progress is almost always met with GREAT resistance.” -Shay Dawkins You very likely will begin to QUESTION ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.  It is much easier to stay asleep and “keep going through the motions,” than it is to WAKE UP and begin to see things and people for who they truly are (internally).  I discuss how to develop an “Internal Raydar” throughout iSin which is much like “feeling the force” (for any Star Wars fans), and as you develop this “Internal Raydar” you will become “vibe sensitive” or “consciously sensitive to the energy around you” which will give you the ability to feel the “negative energy (darkness)” residing within people and in certain places (situations) which sounds cool (it is cool), because you will be able to avoid bad situations.  However, (at first) you may be “misunderstood” by those who don’t know the “new you” yet.  This can potentially cause you to FEEL ALONE and experience loneliness.  If (and more than likely when) this happens to you, then YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE TO PERCEIVE it as “bad,” because (no matter what anyone says) no one likes to FEEL ALONE OR you can perceive it as “good” because you are simply experiencing “growing pains” in that you are growing, learning, and progressing which is a GOOD THING!  Let me emphasize that there is a BIG difference between being alone (having “You Time”) and FEELING ALONE.  By the way, I still battle this “lonely aspect” to some degree, but the occurrences I deal with have dwindled down to extremely rare, “close to extinct” occurrences.  Lastly, no that you are NOT ALONE– your LOVE, PEACE, and JOY are always within you and you WILL NEVER LOSE (INTERNALLY) as long as you REALIZE YOUR GREAT POTENTAL, KEEP MOVING FORWARD, and DON’T GIVE UP!  Furthermore, this iSin Blog and I, personally, am here.  Most of the time when a person “FEELS ALONE” the quickest solution is to simply talk to someone and “vent your emotions” to get what is bothering you OUT OF YOU!  You can feel free to message me, comment on the blog, and reach out to me– I do have somewhat of a life away from iSin (haha)) and can’t guarantee how quickly I will respond, but I will.  Over time, there will be a community of people here on the iSin Blog (Community) that you can “lean on” and simply talk to, if and when you need it.
  3. “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” -Jesus

    If and when you experience point #1 and are “feeling betrayed” or “being done wrong,” then YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE to find the strength to let those people LEAVE while FORGIVING THEM, simultaneously; MOST IMPORTANTLY, you do not forgive them for them as you forgive them FOR YOU!  A lot of people who realize the truth are emotionally intelligent and intelligent overall, but knowing the truth and “realizing wrong” can easily lead to LIVING IN ANGER (WRATH).  Trust me, it’s taken me a LONG TIME to get to where I am today in that 95% of the time I now am able to USE “FEELING ANGRY” as a “positive tool” for myself via “focusing the high energy of anger” into simply “focused energy,” but it has been a long, winding road to get to this point.  If and when you feel yourself getting angry too often, then there are some simple tools that are EASY to practice, but it is hard to create the habit of remembering to do them when anger has the best of you.  One tool is to create the thought (mind frame) of “picking your battles (Is the situation really that important?),” and another tool is to simply find something or someone to appreciate and be thankful for.


Song: “Hero” -Mariah Carey

The Source: F.L.Y.

The EASY, SIMPLE SOLUTION that will enable you to manipulate your emotions, create your life however you see fit, and provide you INTERNALLY with TRUE LOVE, answers, fulfillment, empowerment, energy, passion, meaning, purpose, and excitement is to

First Love Yourself

What does this really mean though?
In a nutshell, this means to realize the POWER OF YOUR THOUGHTS because YOUR THOUGHTS GENERATE YOUR EMOTIONS and YOUR EMOTIONS cause you to FEEL which causes you to be “FILLED WITH” whatever YOU ARE FEELING.  If you go back to the previous section, then look where I bolded “YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE” when pertaining to how you can respond to a negative, external circumstance. YOU always HAVE A CHOICE to CHANGE YOUR MIND when it comes to PERCEIVING EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES.  You can CHOOSE to “be a victim of EXTERNAL circumstances and let your circumstances define you” OR you can CHOOSE to be a “CREATOR of YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES and define your circumstances.”

10 Good Thinking Habits
(Excerpt from the iSin Chapter, “Love Your Mind”)

“To be made new in the attitude and thoughts of your mind.” –Ephesians 4:23

1)  Constantly listen to music that makes you FEEL GOOD. Let me reiterate that your DAY will be a LOT MORE FUN with MUSIC, especially good MUSIC that you ENJOY!

2)  Constantly find things to appreciate and say “thank you” to.

3)  Constantly find things that MAKE YOU LAUGH.

4)  Watch inspirational videos that get you “HYPED” and build your energy.

5)  Surround yourself with people who “build you up (build your energy)” and enable you to DWELL on GOOD.

6)  Find multiple “carrot sticks” (as mentioned in a previous chapter) or “fellowship events” that break up the monotony of your week and give you something to look forward to every week.

7)  Actively think to yourself, “How can I ENJOY this PHENOMENAL day with BOUNDLESS OPPORTUNITY to the ABSOLUTE FULLEST?!?!?”

8)  Find someone to give an honest compliment too. Making others feel good will essentially make you feel good (most of the time).

9)  If angry, find a productive way to vent such as working out, writing, etc.; transform the high energy of anger into productive energy for you that serves you.

10)  Constantly find and dwell on small “wins” you have accomplished

Mar 05

Podcast Episode: Self-Praise & Selfishness

By shaydawkins | Podcast

Intellectual Rebel Podcast

Episode: “Self-Praise & Selfishness”

with Special Guest: CAITLIN THIEDE

This episode of the Intellectual Rebel Podcast delves into the topic of self-praise, selfishness, and how there are positive and negative aspects of both concepts with special guest Caitlin Thiede (www.storyspeak.net).  Both aspects play an essential role in relationships with others along with the most important relationship, the loving relationship with yourself. The loving relationship with yourself and how to build it through self-awareness techniques is discussed in great detail throughout the conversation by self-awareness expert, “Solution” Shay Dawkins. If you are interested in finding out how limitless your potential and love really is, then check out a free sample of the iSin: Upgrade to Life 2.0 Audiobook

Dec 13

The Truth: Jesus’s True Two Commandments

By shaydawkins | Podcast , Redifining Religion

“Solution” Shay Dawkins, host of the Intellectual Rebel Podcast, explains the truth, a global truth, by defining Jesus’s Two Commandments that are not preached, discussed, or emphasized nearly enough. For both the religious and the anti-religious, know that Jesus’s Two Commandments are quite different from the many messages of Christianity. Jesus’s message is truly quite practical yet profound for anyone, regardless of your belief system, because it focuses on showing you where to find true love, how to find it, and how to truly live in love via learning to have a loving relationship with yourself. Continue reading

Nov 22

Self-Awareness: The Key to Great Relationships, God, Solutions, Opportunities, and much more

By shaydawkins | Podcast

Shay Dawkins (IG: @SolutionShay) hosts this edition of the Intellectual Rebel Podcast with special guest Brandon Knott (IG: @LifeofBknott).

Subject matter discussed:

  • What is self-awareness?
  • Why is self-awareness important?
  • How does meditation correlate with self-awareness?
  • Do dreams play a role with consciousness?
  • God, consciousness, & self-awareness
  • Using adversity for your benefit
  • Seeing opportunity with self-awareness
  • How self-awareness enables you to build great relationships
  • Other benefits of attaining self-awareness


Oct 11

Gun Control: A Debate

By shaydawkins | Political Philosophy

One of the goals of the Solution Shay Blog is to stimulate good conversation via enabling our members to partake in some good old-fashioned debate around relevant topics. I plan to get the conversation started by finding a video that presents a strong argument from both a more republican point of view (“the right”) and a more democratic point of view (“the left”). For our issue, gun control, I found the following two videos from Bill Whittle (“the right”) and Barack Obama (“the left”) to both make some very good points that we all should contemplate for ourselves.

“The Right”


“The Left”


Continue reading

Sep 19

The Remnant: Self-Aware People Wanting Progress and Opportunity

By shaydawkins | Podcast

The Remnant

In this episode of the podcast, I discuss the group of people I hope to build great, mutually-beneficial relationships with through the different Intellectual Rebel platforms. I refer to these people as “the remnant” because there are few who meet the following criteria:

  1. Self-aware enough to think for themselves

  2. Yearn for progress and are solution-focused

  3. Take action on logical ways to find progress

In the podcast, I reference a page from the Explicit Version of iSin: Upgrade to Life 2.0 entitled, “3 Levels of Energy,” to give a simple, real-life example showing how your perception determines your internal energy level. Continue reading

Jul 31

Your Beliefs Are Your Religion (Guest Article)

By realminded22 | Guest Contributors , Redifining Religion

Religion is defined as the ‘belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or Gods.’ The general notion with religion is this idea of an extraordinary power external to us will aid us through our individual lives, especially when we’re faced with testing times. Don’t get me wrong, with the balance of the universe and mankind, you will need your share of luck or at least a feeling of it; the truth is, there’ll be bad luck and there’ll be good luck, blessings and lessons, but if we were to solely rely on luck to be in our favour, for most of our lives, we’d become helpless and possessed by life’s way of being rather than our own.

As a religion is based upon a constitution of beliefs, so are we as human beings, but a lot more of them as we are wholly reflective of our beliefs and disbeliefs. Our mind is the complex system we find ourselves in that can grow us into the character we aspire to be or similarly, grow us into the character we don’t want to be; either way, the mind matters most because it’s the source of change and your highest power.

The 3 C’s of life:


“You’ve got to make the choice to take a chance if you want your life to change.”

 It all starts with the choices you make; it often helps in your daily vast living to consciously gather your thoughts together mindfully. In those moments, you can help yourself regain focus on the larger picture and more notably, the steps in front of you that are there to be taken in the moment.

Your journey to self-discovery and self-mastery starts with unleashing the Godliness that lies within you, to commit to what seems extraordinary and beyond your doing because nothing that matters to you is beyond that, it’s just beyond your knowing, in the unknown, waiting on you to find it.

“The only real limitation on your abilities is the level of your desires. If you want it badly enough, there are no limits on what you can achieve.” – Brian Tracy

Don’t succumb to nor amplify the weaknesses within you that waste the finite mental energy you have, nor the false belief that chance will lead you to all that you want to have and the person you desire to be. Life is an exploration of your mind to uncover the beliefs and realisations that will take you to your own place of entitlement.

Open your mind and you open yourself to new ideas and new possibilities, or else, remain enclosed to what you already think and know and limit your doing at your own peril.  Just because you’ve come to a standstill in your own comfort doesn’t mean time has; time is forever passing and change is occurring, always.

“We cast away priceless time in dreams, born of imagination, fed upon illusion, and put to death by reality.” – Judy Garland

 Time is priceless and when we don’t use it with our sense of purpose as often as we can, we become overly influenced by the external world and its own complexities, especially with other minds and contradicting beliefs. For you to serve a life that satisfies you, you’ll need to worship the beliefs that’ll serve you.

“The significance of being born human is that you have the potential to become limitless. It is up to you to live your Godliness.” – Sadhguru

Your affirmations will shape you as a character, shape the journey you endure and the experiences you live to see. Belief roots from self; the key belief to withhold through everything life puts in front of us is belief in ourselves. Believe in yourself so deeply that you are consumed by that belief alone; the unimaginable becomes doable and your life will transpire into a journey of living rather than existence.

This is a guest post from Ajay Mohanadas. Mr. Mohanadas is the Founder of RealMinded.com. He is a student of life and a free thinker. He believes “life is best seen as a process through progress.”



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